Most of the child’s early stage decisions are taken by their parents. This includes what they should eat, what they should do, when they should study, with whom they should meet, etc. A child’s understanding of what is right and what is wrong, is nurtured from their early ages where their parents guide them about their do’s and don’ts. To ensure their positive experience, parents create a virtual environment around a child with family members, friends, and relatives, which they believe is beneficial for the child’s growth.
However, trouble seems to knock in when the child enters outside the safe environment created by their caregivers. This time the child is surrounded by numerous people around them which may be good or bad for them. If a child is a good decision maker, he will make good friends. However, if they are not, they may fall under the wrong company.
The mean friends may make your child feel weaker and less powerful. Your child may fall under depression and bad performance. This will affect their daily routine, their behaviour may change, they may seem lost, and separated from their loved ones.
But, you can make your child feel powerful by talking to them, asking questions, and listening to them without asking or imposing any judgment. Let your child come to you, talk to you, and ask for the suggestions about the challenges that they are going through. In this scenario, if children are unable to fix the problem, at least they will feel heard and understood. This will foster the bond between you and your child.
Reflective Listening helps a lot in the family environment. It helps you understand your child, what they think, what they want from their lives, and what kind of problems are they facing in their lives. Let them tell their stories instead of telling yours. Instead of talking too much and making your child stop listening to you, you can listen to them, follow their stories, and tell the solutions which may resolve their problems.
Instead of imposing a judgment, parents should tell children about the implications of their actions, how will it affect them in the future. Parents can tell stories/examples that reflect the positive impacts of good decision making. This will help them become better decision-makers of tomorrow. However, if the child is not empowered now, they may become dependent on you throughout their entire lives.
Therefore, it is imperative for the parents and the caregivers to allow their children to decide what is good and what is bad for them. Let them decide themselves that who will be their best friend, instead of passing your own judgment. In the long run, this will help them be the better decision makers, even when they are pressured and stressed.
At Infant Jesus School, Ambernath, we focus on building an internal self of a child that will tell them what is right and what is wrong for them. Doing this, brings your child to their comfort level. They feel positive, safe and comfortable in that environment. This way, your child will have all the essential tools to say no or move away.
